hurting much.

i passed through your status on FB.
i wish i can say, "you're my baby". i wish.
cause i do love you.
i wanted to say. i wish i can. but i can't.
and why is that?
i love you this much that i can't afford letting myself ruining your night.
i hope you are doing fine.
i know, you are.


if i smile, it would be a fake one.
this is unbearable for real.

please take me away. please.

unbearable feeling.

please talk to me. i'm sorry.

wishing for you.

i wish for nothing but you.
every single moment i'm afraid of losing you.

we were just finish talking through the phone,
and all of sudden i cried.
i'm worry if it happens to be the last call from me.
please god, don't let it happen.

please god, let everything back to the normal.
please.
you know better how much i love him and how much i need him.
*in tears.

bah enough said.
by, if you are reading this, i just want you to know, i really love you.
and i really need you in my life.

sorry guys, i should have been blogging something happy bah. p antah. i just feel like writing it down here. and i feel much better.

much love, leanna.

baby, i wish you know.

no title. HAHA.

this is so hard for me to decide and it is hard for me to accept.
i'm not going to see each them again everyday like it use to be.
i hope i can go through all this and please god, let this little girl be more stronger than she used to be.
i really hope this gonna be the the right decision for me.
new chapter of life, new beginning, new environment. what else? just everything.
* eh eh salah. not everything eh. babylove inda baru ehh. bestfriends & closefriends inda ehh. they will always be in my heart. no one else gonna replace each of them. hehe. ;)
wish me luck guys. *and please do visit me, chehh..
to my bestriends, zaidah, amal & zirah, my babylove, and those my closefriends , friends, (you guys know who you are) who were trying their best just to cheer me up, thank you so much. i appreciate it. love you all. ;)
apakan ne by~ haha sad usulnya. nadala, i just waana say thanks pada kamu-kamu bahh. hehe.
bah bah thats all.
goodnight people.

falling apart

tears keep on rolling down my cheek.
thanks to my bestfriend, Deekay Amal , Khairun & mybabylove for being with me when i was really in need.
thank you so much. i love you guys. really.
bah bah enough. HAHA.
goodnight people.

ambuyat session.

ambuyat session with my close friends, amal, eman & zirah plus my new friend, hehe fidz. and of course the boys,
you guys know who. *name should not be mention. HAHAHAHA.
the food were "tip-top" *babylove's word. and "the BOOM" berabis.
then off to gadong, amal & zir went watch movie - transformers.
my mood a bit "OFF" due to this little things, but still i tried my best to enjoy my day with them. and yes i had fun again. HAHA.
no pictures were taken.
amal tu lupaaa.. HAHA nadala, ;)
thank you so much guys. i want it again. NYAMAN.

i'm sorry, i miss you already.

im counting.

six weeks, six days.

unwell.

TRANSFORMERS 2 - REVENGE OF THE FALLEN.

*clap-clap.

I'm thrilled by that movie.
thumbs-up to the producer.
who ever involve in it.
I am so in love with the Optimus Prime, Sam (Shia La Beouf) and his buddy, Bumblebee.
well done!

thanks to my big brother, Shea'FauLd for the treat. hehe.
i love you too bang. ;)

i enjoyed it so much.
sitting alone beside the three unknown guys wasn't bad at all.
HAHA. apa meaningnya tu nah? siiuk brabes tah tu, smpai ku inda ingau apa2.
and i think my baby brother feels the same way too.

no regret at all.
nothing much else to say, so goodnight everyone & sweetdream.

babylove, i miss you.

updates.

it's been ages i haven't update anything with this blog as i was still busy with EXAMS then followed by NON-STOP-WEDDING-FUNCTIONS and i blame it all on the connection. HAHA. *tapi banarnya malas bah.

my last exam paper was on the 8th June - Geography P2 & P3.
what should i say? IT DRIVES ME CRAZYY. YES! IT DID.
i was stress and so i joined the "study-group" held at Jay's house that night.
thanks Jay for the invitation & of course the foods.
i am so in love with your BBQ chicken i think.

what happened the next day? *SMILE.
i went out with mybabylove. the last time we went hangout was last month, early may - surprise bday celebration for BFF AMAL.
we watched movie, Jangan Pandang Belakang Congkak at 6pm.
before that i went shopping alone while waiting him to come.
we wanted to go to Utama Bowling, but since i think it wont be fun if it just two of us, so we cancel it out. - tried to call amal to join us, but hehe she was busy shopping with her mum.
and we ended up "makan main-main" -he said that, at Jollibee Qlap where we meet Eta.
then we rushed back to gadong for the movie.
i enjoyed the movie - I BURST INTO LAUGH and he did. hehe.
then we had our dinner at Pizza Hut before we went homw.
i had fun. thank you so much by for the wonderful night.
you know i love you. ;)

and.. it's zaidah's birthday, a bestfriend who is miles away from us.
happy 20th birthday darling.
you are one year older, but don't worry, AGE IS JUST A NUMBER.
you'll always be gorgeous as usual. hehe.
may this year brings you all the happiness that you ever wanted. AMIN.
thank you so much for being the greatest bestfriend to us.
and for that, I AM LOVING YOU DEAREST!

i couldn't remember what i did on the 10th till 12th June. HAHA.
*pelupa sudahh.
all i remember was, i went out - watched movie with my bestfriend, ZIRAH.
* zirah belanja bahh. hehe. THANK YOU SO MUCH DARLING.
we watched Syurga Cinta since that was the only movie at around 5pm.
i learned something from that movie, really.
speechless jua ku tarus bah.
then.. amal fetched us up - went off to Anis's crib - malam berjaga-jaga. cheh.
then went home around 1230am - i had fun.

14th June? my second cousin's wedding both my parent's side.
- busy, busy, busy and tired.

16th June? something that i look forward to every school term holiday.
staying over at my grandma's house with my cousins.
it just fun to be around them - we did almost everything together.
be on the same table having our lunch and dinner together is just the best feeling ever but it reminds me of my late grandma who had just pass away last Jan this year.

we went out the next day at around 9pm for the late dinner - MAMIH BERIBI.
my babylove and PAT, AMOULD's BF were there too with us.
it was on PAT - THANKS. ;)
we had fun, didn't we?

18th June?
went out again for dinner at Mc D just after my cousin, amould finished her class which was around 9.30. nothing much other than that.

19th June?
last day at my grandma's house. -mengemo. HAHA over cia...

21st June?
we attend someone's wedding - ISMANI's wedding - anes's brother.

let the pictures do the talking.

exam fever.

geography paper in few days time. I'M STRESS.
wish me luck.

urgh.

please stop this. you make me down.

birthday surprise for Deekay Amal BFF's.

Farewell for Kudin.

happiness, sadness - all in one.

there was a small farewell party held at my house last night for Kudin as he'll be leaving to Japan somewhere next week - Brunei Shell Tanker - scholarship.

it was a last minute planning and so not all of us could make it.
so i would like to thanks to all of you guys who turned up.

LADIES : AMAL, ANES, DORRY, EMAN, NABEEL & BROTHA, QILAH, JOY, KHAIRUN, ADEQ & BF,
MEN : ADAM, AZIM, ALIHUDDIN, AMIN, AZMI, REPENK, KHAIRUL, QAWIEM and JIRAM.

thank you so much for the wonderful night.

we also did a small surprise for our birthday lady, my BFF ofcourse, AMAL.
we hope you love the cake mal. hehe.

to kudin, congrats and all the best to you. will always be good friends.
don't you ever try to forget us! haha. ;)
WE ALL LOVE YOU.

i really hope everyone enjoyed that night.

that's all.

baby, you know how much i miss you.

45 HOURS WITHOUT YOU.

thanks to you for being there for me when i was in need.
i didn't really sleep last night.
i have been thinking about all this shits that had happen to me for the past few days.
i really need to focus since the exam is VERY SOON and very important thing is gonna happen SOON, but then how can i, when all this things are on my mind?

where are you? answer me.

a mixed feeling.

30 HOURS WITHOUT YOU - IMYMUCH.

i'm depressed!

i wonder if you miss me like i do.
i am missing you.

not even a word from you.

i'm desperate for your voice. =( IMY.

quiz on facebook.

what they say about me?

You love your friends the most in the world and can do anything for the friendship. You are a true friend with a good heart. You love being with your friends, traveling and partying around.

What Does Your Birthday Means To You :

You're Flexible
Unique and creative, you seek your own path in life.

You love change and are able to adapt to any situation.

Your soul reflects: Sweetness, joy, and a complete life.

Your gemstone: Emerald

Your flower: Lily of the Valley

Your colors: Yellow, red, and green


What Word Best Describe You :

Friendly
You are an upbeat and easy going person. You always have a smile on your face and make friends easily. People love your glowing personality! You are a happy person that gets along with almost everyone.

What Is Your Unknown Talent :

Photographer
You have a good eye for design and for photography too, mostly outdoor.

Are You In Love :

All You Can Think Of Is Him, Hes Been On Your Mind For Some Time Now, && You Know Hes Differnt From The Rest & You'l DO ANything To Get With Him Or Keep What You Have Between You Forever.

Are You Ready To Be In A Relationship :

You are definitely ready to be in a committed relationship! You understand the importance of honesty & trust. You crave the companionship and attention, & you love to give it in return. You may feel lonely, but you're not desperate. Someone's definitely on your radar and you're ready to give them your all. Congrats!

updates.

updates for what had happened for the past few days.

Saturday : 11th April.

wake up a bit early than usual, did some laundry & did the invitation card.
went gadong at around 1230pm, just to do some printing since my printer got problem.
received a call from fenndi while doing the printing and he made me stay.

he came around 245pm, * darl, batah ku nunggu tu. huhu, then off to qlap - lunch.
we talked, we ate, we talked we ate. huhu.
just afta that, i decided to watch movie - jgn tegur at Mall Cineplex.
we were stuck cari parking, round2 kan kami balik2, p inda jua ada.
poor him, HAHA. habis $2 nya. HAHA.
i wonder if there is a solution for this kind of problem.
we pay, but we ended up with no parking at all. cana kan tuuuuu.......

thank godness ada parking somewhere near to WECAN RESTAURANT,
mun inda.. sia-siapun liat movie. HAHA.
the movie had started by the time we came, but okayy la sikit jua ganyaaaa.
he loves the movie i bet, p for me, sadang scary nya but i did enjoy it tho.

after that, went cheezbox - dinner.
tapikan.. HAHA. just afta my food ready dah, i had to go. - my bad, sorry darling.
and so i left him all alone. sorrrrrryyyyyyyyy.
thanks darl for the wonderful day, i had fun.

went home straight away - shower & rest.
then went to my late grandma's house at around 1130pm - sleep over.
slept at around 3am.
rest rest rest.
what a wonderful Saturday Night.

thank you so much baby.

Sunday : 12th April.

wake up at around 8am then watch Confession of Shopaholic.
take a bath, getting ready for lunch.
mom called - asking me if i can help my cousin with her project on Global Warming.
called ct. she invited me to come over her place - do the project && hanging out.
i took about more than 4 hours just to finish the project - STRESSSS ku. huhu.
the good thing is i learned more about Global Warming & Australia - the Case Study for her project. - should i say HER project or MY project? HAHA.
ct, i bet you can answer it correctly, kan? HAHA.

around 8pm, went to gadong - did the printing with ct.
we were rushing - need to go to the clinic just after that.
we ran just to make sure the clinic will still be open by the time we come.
HAHA. naleh saja lari2, nada jua buka clinic.
lunglung, u should have been telling us about that! HAHA.

then went Cheezbox, dinnner ' craving for the tuna mayo - tahap dewa HAHA.
went home at around 10pm. i had fun, enjoyed my dinner with ct.
thanks darl for the t-shirt, i'm loving you. hehe.
time for bed. zZzZzZ.

Monday : 13th April.

received a morning wake up call from ct. hehe.
she picked me up at around 10am - went straight to Clinic.
then we had our breakfast.
off to Vincci Kiulap.
then went home at around 12.15pm.

qilah texted me asking if i wanna go watch movie with her.
i really wanna go, but then aku inda piit.
i'm sorry qil, but i promise you next time.

100 days - al-fatihah.

with love and hugs,
leanna HS.

hanging?

it's been a year plus, but still its hanging.
if you ask me, " is this what you want? " surely i say NO.
things never been hanging like this for a very long time,
i repeat " A VERY LONG TIME." * mcm dalam debate saja. HAHA.
what should i do? please tell me.
make a move or WHAT??????

again & again, why??

hello people.
im still hoping that i cn join d hi tea wt them, myfrends at rizqun ds aftrnn.
i hv been craving for the lekor & d bubur since last nite.
urgh.
bt things come up today, so i think i cnt join them. =(.
guys, i miss you all. really.
maybe next tym.

to mr. khairul anwar, our "ketto",
happy belated bday to you. (-.-)
sory lmbt, bru ku tpost krul. huhu.

to mem, happy bday to you too darl.
may happiness is all yours, amin.
just text me a whenever u free,ok.

you texted me last mon!!!
thanxs darling for making me smile again.
let me tell u smething, smetime u cn be that sweet bh. keke.

well i guess i'm done here.
al-fatihah.

tell me why.

i'm missing the old you.
yes the old you.
why are you changing?
will i get the old you back?

2nd march 2009 : tieya's birthdayy.

hello beautiful people.

so here i am for new updates, hehe.

as we planned, my friends, eman, wani , the birthdayy girl - tieya & i went out after being "kana kurung" for a week plus

- we joined this bcta programme for fasa II & III.

eman picked us up at around 12.15pm, then went straight to Melabau to check the timetable for the class then off to gadong.

* sorry wani to keep you waiting.

and so, went straight to Mall Cineplex to check movie apa ada,

seems that nothing really impress us in a way.

so we went to foodcourt sja, kan makan,

but by that time, we felt a bit dissappointed.

as tieya & wani haven't got the chance to watch Pink Panther,

so we decided to just watch that movie. bought the ticket,

we were late for around 10minutes maybe, but i don't think it was useless as there were lots of advertisement shown before the movie started and....

i've watched it before with my lunglung, keke.

then we went jalan-jalan saja.

we accidentally met khairun & zatil. hehe.

macam sorang-sorang kan t jumpa.

then, as not planned, HAHA, we went to Rizqun for hi tea - celebrating Tieya's birthdayy.

it was kinda a surprise for her.

*mind you, it wasn't in plan.

eman bought a cake there & asked them - the waitress to sing a birthdayy song for tieya.

and they did, just before we finish eating.

tieya blushing brabis.

she keep on saying "malu ku eh" - as usual. HAHA.

* qilah & azmi were there too celebrating tieya's birthdayy.

the food was again " the boom! ".

no regret. && we were full. huhu.

i'm loving the lekor & the tea tarik like brabislyy.

the cake was "okayy la... "

we had fun. din't we?

thanks azmi- dgnkan aku hbskan my food. HAHA.

thank you soo much to tieya, eman, wani , qilah & azmi for the wonderful dayy.

to tieya, i hope you did enjoy ur birthday with us.

thanks for the treat also.

it's been a long time tani inda go out together,

and we did it, ON YOUR BIRTHDAY.

* feel bad as zirah & amal can't make it that day , but as promised we will find a day for us, okayy?

things didn't last just like that.

azmi invited us to his bbq - a birthday party celebration for " c popeye " * mi, luruska? haha.

we sang. we eat. we sang. we eat. huhu.

i was KUSUT brabis that night, but still, having them around me makes me feel secure

and yea, i'm enjoying my night.

went home a bit late.

thanks repenk & amen for the ride, keke.

i've been craving for mummy azmi's chicken wings since last week,

and.. HAHA puas hatiku dpt mkn that night.

so that was it.

so just before i went to bed,

i texted fenndi to say goodnight & telling him how kusut i am.

i bet i texted him at the wrong timing since his friends were at his house.

so yea..

but he did texted me back asking me if i wanna share my kusutness with him,

tapi kan.. by that time, aku tidur sudah. * my bad.

anyway, thanks darling for the concern.

thank you so much for trying to be there when i was in kusut brabis.

i know things seems to change in many ways.

i'm hoping that everything gonna be back to normal, even if its just in my dream.

* nah over cia.

but really, things get messy here and there.

everything seems to be more harder than i thought.

everything seems to go away, far, far away from me.

and i'm afraid of losing every pieces of it.

* i'm sorry for being so emotional.

inda plang brapa usulnya.

but seriously, im having a hard time for the past few weeks.

just before, during & after the "rekrut" time.

so lastly,

HAPPY ADVANCE, BELATED BIRTHDAY TO :

OUR BEST BUDDY, KUDIN - 1st of March.

MY FOREVER FRIEND , NURUL FATHIEYAH - 2nd of March .

MY COUSIN, ABANG ALIN - 3rd of March.

may this year bring all the happiness to you all & goodluck in everything.

loving you all so muchh.

hello people. i'm sorry for lacking of updates recently,

bussyy with stuffs here and there, *

and of course, the most TOP reason will be LAZYY. keke.

i'll be awayy this sunday, 28th feb for a week,

so again, inda tia b update ne blog ahh.

but i will try my-very-the-best to update when i'm home, okayy.

there are LOTS to shareeee..

i'm still stuck with the packing thinggyyy. urghhh.

so night people. sweetdream later.

i believe on you,

leanna HS.

cause it hurts.

* jap ah, mendelete jua ku ne - by the time i say this to you, actually im posting this.

if i say yes i can accept it, i'd say i lie.
and so, no, i can't accept it.
i just can't.

but no matter how much i try, i can never stop you.

i know, sooner or later, it's gonna happen jua kan? * tears rolling down.
will you?



* im speechless.

i've got a lot to confess here, but then..
i'm blankk.
suk-suktah ku ckp, i hope, it's not late to sayy.

with love, Leanna HS.

emotions behind the feeling.

them i love.

the reason why i'm blogging?

i miss bestfriend panatquhh, SITI HAZIRAH.

*complete bahh.

babe, I REALLY MISS YOU BRABISS. HAHA.

cam i miss berabis my other fabulous bestfriends jua,

DEEKAY AMAL, ZAIDAH & AETA.

how i really wish i can sort of "terabangkan" c zaidah, then hangout jap, pastu

"terabangkan ya balik". HAHA.

seriously, I AM MISSING YOU LADIES.

something happens this few days, and yea, i feel sick about that. SICK like BRABISLYY.

andddd.. HAHA. aku miss lunglung jua. don't you miss me? HAHA.

* results will be out soon. urghh. please let another miracle happen.

ps : i am your PAST, so please LEAVE me alone.

Cause I can breathe again, dream again

I'll be on the road again

Like it used to be the other day

Now I feel free again, so innocent

Cause someone makes me whole again for sure

I'll find another you.

with love, LEANNA HS.

i want it so badly.

tagged by BFF Deekay Amal.

1. Do you think you're hot?

- i'm not saying a word, keke.

2. Upload a favourite picture of you.

- done! hehe.

3. Why do you like the picture?

- i love that smile.

4. When was the last time you ate pizza?

- 2nd january 2009 : pizza hut's honey garlic pizza.

5. The last song you listened to?

- another you from cascada.

6. What are you doing right now beside this?

- chatting, facebook-ing & enjoying my chocolate ice-cream. yummyyy!!!

7. What name would you prefer besides yours?

- no other name other than liyana.

people i tag love:
1. zirah.

2. anes.

3. eman.

4. tifa.

5. khairul ketto.

8. Who is number 1?

- my very the panat-ness bestfriend i ever had.

9. Number 2 is having a relationship with?

- she's single, don't you anes? hehe.

10. Say something about number 5

- one of my close guy friend. my best buddy. c ketto kamii.. huhu.

hot & sexyy ne ya ah. HAHAHA.

11. How about number 4?

- one of my ex-mate for years.

12. Who is number 3?

- eman? my close friend, crime partnerku. HAHA. dgnku bpanat jua...

18th January : shea'fauld barrie's 21st birthdayy.

you got that style

nice..




shea'fauld barrie

shea'fauld and shem'sould

2008

leanna & shea'fauld

2006

three of us,

shea'fauld barrie, leanna && shem'sould barrie.

happy birthday to you my only big brotha,

may ALLAH bless you always,

long - life,

getting a better life ahead,

&& may happiness is all yours.

may twenty one brings you to a new wonderful life, amin.

you are the greatest brother to me & shem'sould, you should know that.

you meant just everything to us.

you make us smile, you wipe our tears and we share just everything - happiness & sadness.

a lady can just simply come & go in ur life but bang, we are always here for you, no matter what.

* i bet you know what i meant.

thanxs bang for being the best to us.

thanxs for treating us for almost all the time.

thanxs for buying us stuffs that we wanted

and thanxs for giving me my monthly money every month, keke.

* up sikit, dapat? HAHA.

you are such a wonderful son to babah and mama & wonderful brotha to me & shem'sould.

we will always proud of you, remember that.

we love you so much.

did i see you crying tadi for the little surprise? hehe. got you!!!!

we really hope you gonna love all the presents.

from :

babah, mama , leanna & shem'sould.

rymba's family.

qlap's family.

kota batu's family.

and also the rest.

loving you soo muchh.

if just you know.

i don't understand why i never been right to you.

i don't understand why cant you see every little things i have done for you, just for you.

i don't understand why can't i feel the love from you.

i don't understand why there are always a big gap between me and you.

i don't understand why after years and years it keeps on like this.

i don't understand why..

please answer me.

xoxo, leanna HS.

i'm feeling it again and again.

6th January 2009 : azmi's birthdayy.

* azmi with his cup cake.

* azmi with his 'baby'. hehe.

happy birthday azmi.
may this year be the greatest year for you, amin.
have a blast!
ps : you suck mi. HAHA.

3rd of January 2009.

al - fatihah.

inilah saat terakhir ku melihat kamu
jatuh air mataku menangis pilu
hanya mampu ucapkan
selamat jalan kasih

satu jam saja ku telah bisa cintai kamu, kamu, kamu di hatiku,
namun bagiku melupakanmu butuh waktu seumur hidup.
satu jam saja ku telah bisa sayangi kamu.. dihatiku.
namun bagiku melupakanmu butuh waktu seumur hidup..

leannaHS.